How to spot serial online daters

2011-01-18

In the world of online dating, serial dater is very common, and you should avoid them, or avoid becoming one of them. Usually, a serial dater is defined as a person who constantly searching for new people online to date. He or she isn’t interested to find someone and get on with a normal relationship, or make any long-term commitment. In a word, more or less they are “players”. But sometimes, it is difficult to tell who is a serial dater, who is not. Here we got some tips for you to check if the one you are talking to is a serial online dater or not.

Initial assessment: Check the motives of him/her

It is always wise to be aware of how that person’s goals align with yours. First, you can do that by reading his or her self-description in the profile. Of course, some serial online dater won’t tell you that he or she is a player right in the beginning in the profile. The second step to check the motives of the person is to talk to him or her online. Many players don’t want to disclose this part of information to those who are seeking serious long-term relationships. If it is the case happening to you, probably the person you are talking to right now is not on the same page as you are. In a word, “listen to what your gut tells you.”

Behaviors in general

If that person satisfies the initial assessment, then probably you both will continue to move on and go further. Then, there are more things you should take note on, and understand the person a little bit more, and ask yourself the questions:

1. Is he or she having a danger of being alone? Online dating is big. Players are always ready to find replacement.

2. Does he or she show signs to “win you over” if you are not available? Many times, serial dater welcomes challenges as the mere goal is only to attempt to win over others, instead of making commitment.

3. Does casual intimate relationship sound justifiable to him or her? Often times, a serial dater doesn’t care about having sexual relationships with others. It doesn’t hurt when a situation doesn’t work out.

4. Does he or she hate making plans? If yes, then it is very possible that he or she is a serial dater. Usually this kind of person hesitates to give you concrete answers as they simply refuse to make commitment. The best they can do is to leave you hanging until the last possible minute.

 

Sharing between both of you

Do you both share major life moments? Is there a special moment you want to share but he or she turns up their nose? You found something happy and you can’t wait to tell everyone about the news, but the person didn’t show interest at all? Even if he or she agrees to listen to you, do you observe the bored or uninterested behavior? Or does he or she find excuses to escape sharing anything with you? Then it may mean that you have no space in their world.

Is “You” the one who does all the good gestures?

Building a relationship should be a two-way street. While you are doing all the kind gestures the other should automatically do the same. So, if you’re the only one that seems to give it all but you see nothing coming from him or her, it is very possible that your partner is not as interested in you as you are in them.

Don’t ignore the signs that someone is showing you. If someone is not interested in you, seems uninterested or indifferent at every turn, it is probably much better not to waste time. By using your own judgment, and trusting your intuition, you can determine how to proceed in the best way for yourself. Rather than being persistent with someone who does not appear to share your level of interest, it is best to withdraw.

The Internet didn’t invent deception. It just makes it much easier. But that which does not destroy us makes us stronger. The more time you spend on using the site, the better skills you acquired at spotting desperation, dishonesty and gold-diggers. Be as open and as trusting as you can be, and be prepared to tough it out. It is an emotional rollercoaster, but it is worth the ride.