When Dating a Single Mom...

2011-04-29

Have you tried dating a single mom Already? Or are you planning to date a single mom? If you understand what the average single mom appreciates in a relationship, dating a single mother will be just as enjoyable as dating a childless woman. Greater responsibilities mean single mothers value honesty, respect and stability very highly, but they still love fun and romance.

If you find that you are interested in, attracted to, or seriously wanting to build a relationship with a single mom, there are some things you should know.

1. Be Serious. Don’t play games.

Single moms don’t have time to play games. If you wait three days to call her play any other dating games she’ll lose patience and probably drop you before you have a chance to hurt her. Don’t pretend to like her or pretend you are interested. Be genuine and sincere and she will welcome the opportunity to spend some time with you. A man who is sincere and shows genuine interest with no ulterior motive is any girls’ dreams whether she is a single mom or not.

You can’t just be genuine with her, you have to be genuine with her children.  If it does get to the point where you meet the kids, be yourself. Kids are almost smarter than single parents and will know when someone is being fake with them.  Be nice to them, and show genuine interest in them.  It won’t be long before they start reciprocating.

2. Respect Her Obligations

In a single mom’s life, she has a lot of obligations.  She may not even be sure which ones are at the top all of the time because they all seem mission critical to her. Don't make her feel guilty if she cancels a date to care for a sick child. Be patient if you end up on the back burner for a while because her child is having academic problems or needs extra emotional support. If you feel ignored, send her some flowers or an old-fashioned love letter to let her know you'd like to see her when possible.

3. Offer Unexpected Romance. Treat her like a princess

This applies to dating all women, moms or not. Use your imagination and be creative. Romance works best when it is unexpected and not obvious. Let her know you're thinking about her, even when you can't be together. Send a flirtatious text message while she's at work. Call her one evening just to ask how she is. Send flowers or, better yet, a small gift with a symbolic meaning. Even seemingly ordinary gestures can be romantic. When you're at her place, if she has to take care of the kids, occupy your time by taking out the trash or doing the dishes.

4. Keep Dating Costs Low

Pay in advance or choose low-cost dates. Raising kids doesn't leave much in the budget for entertainment, so single moms appreciate inexpensive dates. You can offer to pay her way, but she may still refuse so you don't think she's looking for financial support. If you pay all the costs in advance, she's more likely to accept. Otherwise, cafes, botanical gardens and art museums all work for low-cost dates. Alternatively, enjoy a pizza and a movie at home, with or without the kids.

5. Expect to Be Involved with Her Children

Wow, have you made it this far? You must be really into this woman.  Most single moms are hesitant to take this step until she is pretty sure you are both on the same path. Treat this occasion delicately, and treat it with the respect and appreciation it deserves. Be honored that she is including you in the most important part of her life. The first-time WILL be nerve-wracking for you, and it will be for her as well, but she would not have you there if she didn’t want you there. She will take the steps necessary to make it easier for you.

Don't be afraid with no experience with kids. We’re all big kids inside. Don’t be afraid to get down on your hands and knees and run around with her little ones. If you love her, loving her kids will come naturally. Just because she’s a single mom doesn’t mean she’s looking for Mr. Super Dad. She’s looking for someone who has the ability to completely and totally love her children.